Abundant Blessings and Soft Landings
The trials and joys of having little ones in the wedding party: Part I
by Rev. Robyn Posson on 07/16/10
Let me first give the disclaimer that I absolutely adore children. I have two of my own, and three wonderful grandchildren as well. Now, as someone who's done many, many weddings in her career, I've seen my share of kids as members of the wedding party. Most times it goes well; sometimes not so much.
When I talk with couples about this, they are almost apologetic about having a wee-one to join them in the ceremony, seemingly worried that I won't approve or, worse, that the child will disrupt the ceremony. I let them know that their desires are what's most important, and if they want little Suzy or Johnny there to up the cuteness factor, so be it...but with one caveat: preparation, practice and flexibility are key to making the best possible experience for everyone.
Here are some factors to consider when deciding whether to have a child in the wedding party:
1. The child's age (4 years or older is ideal)
2. Child's temperament (easy-going? high energy? shy?)
3. Will the wedding day time-frame interfere with the child's nap-time, and if so, how will this be handled?
4. Does the child have experience in and comfort with being the center of attention (not just for the ceremony, but for the entire day)?
5. Will there be a responsible adult who can scoop him/her up and take to a quiet area for a snack and play and/or take the child home if it gets to be overwhelming? (a nanny or trusted sitter who is not a guest at the event...preferably not the child's parent or other relative...they're at the wedding to have fun, too)
6. If the child is a little older, will there be kid-friendly food and fun activities to do (coloring, taking pictures with a disposable camera, etc.)?
In my next post, I'll give some suggestions to make your flower girl and ring bearer's experience a better one.
AB&SL!
The Devil is in the Details...
by Rev. Robyn Posson on 07/02/10
My daughter decided that she wanted an organic, "green" theme for her wedding. When choosing favors, she wanted ones that reflected their love of nature, wouldn't be a dust collector, and wouldn't end up in the landfill. So I potted 125 ivy plants and crafted personalized plant stakes that served double-duty as place cards. A week before the wedding, she thought the plant stakes would look wonderful displayed in sage-green window boxes that were planted with grass. Since I wanted nothing more than to make my little girl's wedding exactly what she wanted, I went to three different stores to find just the right color green, and got them planted. I cared for those window boxes as though they were newborn babies; they were watered every day, and I moved them at regular intervals so they were always in direct sunlight. She called me every day for a "grass update," and I assured her that it would all turn out just fine. These tasks were a labor of love, but I spent the better part of wedding week in my garage, up to my elbows in potting soil, and worrying that the grass wouldn't grow enough to make for a nice display.
As it turned out, a lot of guests didn't take their favors home, and so they were put back in my car and they eventually took residence in my garden. [I wonder how many of those plants that were taken are still alive, or whether they eventually dried up from lack of care and were tossed in the compost heap, or worse, the landfill.] The window boxes also came home with me (we hadn't made plans for what would happen to them when it was all over), and I transplanted the grass in my backyard.
In retrospect, the time I expended on just that one detail could have been better spent creating some meaningful and lasting memories by spending quality time with my daughter over lunch or a much-needed mani-pedi and massage, which would have reduced my stress-level during that precious week before the wedding.
Having been through her wedding planning, and talking to literally hundreds of brides who are in the process, I now often wonder how important the details really are. Ask yourself what it is that you want to remember most about your wedding day: Is it the food, the music, the favors, the color of the napkins, the font on the invitations, the tulips flown in from The Netherlands, or whether your shoes matched the dress? Or is it the fun, the romance, and being with family and friends that you and your spouse will talk about for years to come?
Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life. Make it memorable and fun, but don't let getting bogged down in the details take away from that. Take it from someone who wishes she had done it better.
Welcome!
by Rev. Robyn Posson on 06/30/10
Welcome to my blog, Abundant Blessings and Soft Landings: Wedding advice, opinions and views from a wedding officiant's perspective.
I am a wedding officiant from Upstate New York, and I absolutely love what I do. I perform many weddings each year, and I find every one to be wonderful and unique in its own way. Here I will share with you what I know personally from planning my own daughter's wedding and what I've learned from hundreds of couples whom I've married over the years. My hope is that you'll get questions answered and perhaps learn something valuable and meaningful along the way.
I welcome your input, ideas and opinions.
AB & SL!
